Religious Idiots

nt

Political Stuff

My pal recently asked me who I like for President. I tend to follow my parents and vote for the one I think can cause the least amount of damage. I don't know much about any of the politics in this race, except for Hillary's.

This time around, I think i'll vote for Fred Thompson. After, he was in several movies that I like. Every time i've seen him in a movie, he's been in a leadership role, Hunt for Red October, etc. I really like him as an actor, and after seeing how Bush doesn't know how to hide his emotions and make people feel secure, i'd like to have a President that can at least ACT like everything's gonna be okay. That and he sounds like a country boy, and for the most part, country boys have good morals. But then again, I may be a moron.

Reasons for Hating Hillary Clinton

1. She fucked up a sexy name like Hillary. When I think of the name Hillary, I think of that Val Kilmer spy movie spoof, Top Secret!, and the actress Lucy Gutteridge who played Hillary the female lead. In the movie, she says her name means one who's breasts defy gravity. Ever since then, i've associated Hillary with breasts. Insert Hillary Clinton. Thanks for fucking up a good fantasy.

2. During 9-11, there were many visual images and moments that brought our country closer together. I remember vividly that morning. I skipped Accounting 2 because I had sat down with breakfast and was watching the news, as I did every morning. I remember the planes hitting and thinking, "I wonder if they 2 towers will fall. I didn't move except to eat and use the bathroom for about 24 hours. I never liked New York, or New Yorkers, but I immediately felt my heart breaking when I saw the footage. No matter what your politics, people of every race and creed felt the same way. Mostly. I searched and searched for something to make me feel safe again, anything. Something to raise my spirits. I watched as President Bush stood and promised retribution to whoever had done this. I watched as Lee Greenwood sang God Bless the USA, and Martina McBride sang Independence Day. I kept searching and searching and sat down to watch the CMA's, the Country Music Awards that showed a week or so after the attack happened. I remember catching the show in the middle and Vince Gill was talking about Alan Jackson having a new song. Where Were You When The World Stopped Turning. I remember watching this song and his emotion when singing it. It brought me to tears, i'm not ashamed to say. Then, I later saw President Bush addressing the Nation. Every SINGLE one of the Senators and other people in the room when he was giving his speech was listening intently. You could see the emotion on their faces. They believed what he was saying and Democrat or Republican, they were behind him. Mostly. That fucking waste of life, Hillary was shown several times. She looked bored. Even pissed off. She scowled several times and Bush and would have rolled her eyes if she could have gotten away with it. I could feel her contempt for the man that was trying to inspire the nation, to give them some hope. I thought, "How dare she."

I can't stand that bitch.

World of Boredcraft

So i'm an avid World of Warcraft fan. I love playing the game and do so as much as family life allows. Here's a few videos that I think are funny.
1. The Internet is for Porn.
2. Girls of WoW
3. Leeroy Jenkins
4. Your Brains

I used to play the Battlefield series, Battlefield 1942, Battlefield Vietnam, Battlefield 2, and Battlefield 2142. My favorite vids made with the game are the Mine series. There are a few gags you won't get unless you have played BF2.

1. Mine the Original The Raining Men part is pretty damn funny. Also note a few Monty Python sequences.
2. Mine 2

Now, if you have been asleep, then you've never heard of Red Vs. Blue. Hilarious.
Red Vs. Blue
I personally purchased the 3 dvd boxed set of the videos, but they have season 4 and 5 out now.

Bad Day Rant from 3-4-04

So the following is a post I made on 3-4-04. I was working at Hastings Entertainment at the time and posted this on Realpoor.com before the website turned to crap. Be warned there are around 50 fucks in this and a bunch of goddamns. Sabathius is the screen name I used when I posted on the message board. This is, hands down, the best rant i've ever done. My favorite part is when I started ranting on Christians. This is a severely angry rant, but I'm much better now.


Yanoe What? Sometimes I want to fucking come home and not have 45 messages on my goddamned answering machine from Bankfirst about how they can save me on a 32 billion dollar car loan and will simultaneously increase the size of my teency boycock. I would like to come in, turn on the fucking computer and find where I left off downloading porn, take a giant shit, grab a Budweiser and turn on the goddamned idiot box. I don't want fucking commercials in the middle of my Orange County Chopper and Mail Call with R. Lee Ermey. I don't wanna scroll past a new goddamned reality TV show and I don't want goddamned reruns of Friends or stupid fucking Seinfeld. Fuck Sara Jessica Parker's no sex having ass. I don't wanna hear my fat ass dyke of a neighbor and her goddamn cockroach kids fucking each other and pounding their goddamn heads into the wall trying to make themselves more retarded. I don't wanna work all day, listening to 40 year old bloated assholes vent their rage on me about a stupid video tape that doesn't contain the amount of porn they thought it would in a sad excuse to validate the heap of shit existence they currently lead. Move out of your mom's goddamn basement and stop jerking off 900 times a day (and 3 times in my goddamn book department) and maybe you'll find someone that will take an interest in this pathetic excuse you call a waste of life. I don't want to listen to whining maggot employees bitch about what a goddamn hard life they have when they stop going to class and wonder why they fucking failed. Or when they come to work crying because someone ran over their goddamn cat. It's a cat. Shut the fuck up. I'm tired of goddamn Christian people coming and renting BIBLE MAN or buying fucking Tim LaHaye books every goddamn day. I swear to God if he puts out another book next week i'm going to snap and kill everyone I fucking see. This fucking loser has nothing better to do than wax idiotic about an invisible man that lives in the sky that is about to end our world and punish everyone in it forever and ever, but loves us nonetheless. Fuck you idiot Christian slobs and your goddamned need for comfort from a goddamned book. I believe in God and I'm pretty goddamned sure that he doesn't give a RATFUCK if you watched Bibleman 450 times or that you've never said the word Shit in your goddamned pathetic life. Know what asshole? I've said fuck alot. I've had anal sex with a jewish girl during lent and without a goddamned condom. I'm pretty goddamn sure that violates about 300 Religious laws. According to your rules, god will forgive me, so i'm gonna call her up and FUCK HER AGAIN. GODDAMNIT I'VE HAD A BAD FUCKING DAY. Someone get me a fucking beer Re-fucking-gards, Sabathius

My 2 year old and the linebacker.

So I have 2 kids now. There's William. He's around 20 pounds now, and is 8 months or so old. Everyone says he looks like a miniature linebacker, because he's bulky. He crawls and giggles and drools and tries to pull up on things. He's like a really drunk frat kid that has a boob fetish and no teeth. So, like any really drunk frat kid I guess. My daughter, Julianna, is a 2 and a half and very, very intelligent. I know alot of people say that, but my daughter really is. She's so intelligent that we're going to have trouble outsmarting her in the parenting department when she gets older. Right now she's bright for her age, but I could totally kick her ass at math. She can write her own name on her little doodle pad and draws wonderful pictures. I remember doing that in like, Kindergarten or First Grade or something.

My son is named for my Dad's older brother, William Dudley. He was born with the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck and suffocated at birth. So, in honor of not having an uncle, I named my son after him. Yes, I named my baby after a dead baby. His middle name comes from a long line of people in my family named Sterling. It dates back to a General Sterling Price who served in the Civil War. I've tried to dig up more information on the guy, but Dad says there's not much there.

My daughter is named after Julianna Margulies, or Julianne Moore, whichever is hotter to you. I've always liked names Like Julianna or Marybeth. Celeste is my wife's middle name so she gave it to her kid.

Anyways, that's my family.

Fuck Circuit City

So I live right behind Circuit City. If you have never had the pleasure of living near a place like Circuit City, or Best Buy, lemme give an example of what to expect. Baseline. Constantly. Wallthumping stupid hip hop baseline. All the goddamn time. I get home from work and immediately lay down to take a nap. I work from 4:30 in the morning until I get done. 4:30 isn't a natural time for a human to be awake, so naturally i'm tired. So I get home to take a nap, and if i'm lucky, so stupid waste of a good fuck just got their car out from the shop in the back of Circuit City were they added 80 tons of speakers and other shit into a 83 Datsun Pickup with Inlaid Gold Flake Pinstriping on a Purple Sea of paint. Now the idiot wants to see if Aliens on Jupiter know how big his cock is by blaring his unholy crap excuse for music as loud as he can. I seriously hope his eardrums explode one day. Usually they have a music festival on Saturday so all the idiots in town can come show off their dick-mobiles. The one thing I do love, is how when I call the police, they don't bust up the party, they park 3 or 4 officers on different exit routes to ticket the morons who peel out and take off down the street at a high rate of speed. God I hate those people.

300

I really can't wait to see this movie. I'm convinced that Gerard Butler is a fantastic actor, though I admit that I've only seen him in The Phantom of the Opera. I love movies about historical battles, and hope they got it as accurate as possible. In the meantime, i'll be playing some more World of Warcraft, where you can find me on the Lightninghoof Server under the names Daegoth or Korgoth. No, Korgoth isn't named for that lame cartoon character. I had it first when Everquest came out. They copied me, the fuckers. What else is new? Valentine's Day. What a load of crap. I celebrate my wife every day of the year. I'm not gonna save it all up for one day. No, I didn't get her shit this year. I'm gonna give her a rose tomorrow, and dinner on Friday probably. Oh well, i'm a mean bastard.

The Family Fucking Circus

Alright. My first post and it's a rant. I was talking to this annoying, mustached girl from work about comics in the San Angelo Standard times and was shocked to find out that while my favorite comic lately has been either Non-Sequitor, Dilbert, and Get Fuzzy, her favorite has always been The Family Circus. The rest are there to take up space. What's the matter with The Family Circus? First off, lemme clear the air. I'm a married father of two so I know what it's like to be a parent. I can understand that sometimes in parenting, there are hilarious moments and cute moments. None of those can be seen in TFC. Jeffy getting run over by Dolly when she accidently backs Daddy's car out of the drive-way would be funny. I'm a bit sick in the head, i'll admit. But I think it would be funny. What I don't find funny is the massive over use of kids using puns and misunderstanding the meaning of normal words. Today's was Jeffy riding a tricycle and saying, Disney made a movie about cars, when are they gonna make a movie about trikes. Please tell me what's funny about that? Sometimes I wish I could draw so I could make a family circus cartoon I'd like to see. It'd be something like Petey holding a grenade pin in his hand and his brother's playing keep away from Dolly with live hand grenade. I hate TFC so much I have to read it first. That way I don't have to worry about accidently reading it and leaving me in a bad mood for the rest of the day. I either end up on Dilbert or Get Fuzzy. Those always make me laugh. Fuckin TFC.