So the following is a post I made on 3-4-04. I was working at Hastings Entertainment at the time and posted this on Realpoor.com before the website turned to crap. Be warned there are around 50 fucks in this and a bunch of goddamns. Sabathius is the screen name I used when I posted on the message board. This is, hands down, the best rant i've ever done. My favorite part is when I started ranting on Christians. This is a severely angry rant, but I'm much better now.
Yanoe What? Sometimes I want to fucking come home and not have 45 messages on my goddamned answering machine from Bankfirst about how they can save me on a 32 billion dollar car loan and will simultaneously increase the size of my teency boycock. I would like to come in, turn on the fucking computer and find where I left off downloading porn, take a giant shit, grab a Budweiser and turn on the goddamned idiot box. I don't want fucking commercials in the middle of my Orange County Chopper and Mail Call with R. Lee Ermey. I don't wanna scroll past a new goddamned reality TV show and I don't want goddamned reruns of Friends or stupid fucking Seinfeld. Fuck Sara Jessica Parker's no sex having ass. I don't wanna hear my fat ass dyke of a neighbor and her goddamn cockroach kids fucking each other and pounding their goddamn heads into the wall trying to make themselves more retarded. I don't wanna work all day, listening to 40 year old bloated assholes vent their rage on me about a stupid video tape that doesn't contain the amount of porn they thought it would in a sad excuse to validate the heap of shit existence they currently lead. Move out of your mom's goddamn basement and stop jerking off 900 times a day (and 3 times in my goddamn book department) and maybe you'll find someone that will take an interest in this pathetic excuse you call a waste of life. I don't want to listen to whining maggot employees bitch about what a goddamn hard life they have when they stop going to class and wonder why they fucking failed. Or when they come to work crying because someone ran over their goddamn cat. It's a cat. Shut the fuck up. I'm tired of goddamn Christian people coming and renting BIBLE MAN or buying fucking Tim LaHaye books every goddamn day. I swear to God if he puts out another book next week i'm going to snap and kill everyone I fucking see. This fucking loser has nothing better to do than wax idiotic about an invisible man that lives in the sky that is about to end our world and punish everyone in it forever and ever, but loves us nonetheless. Fuck you idiot Christian slobs and your goddamned need for comfort from a goddamned book. I believe in God and I'm pretty goddamned sure that he doesn't give a RATFUCK if you watched Bibleman 450 times or that you've never said the word Shit in your goddamned pathetic life. Know what asshole? I've said fuck alot. I've had anal sex with a jewish girl during lent and without a goddamned condom. I'm pretty goddamn sure that violates about 300 Religious laws. According to your rules, god will forgive me, so i'm gonna call her up and FUCK HER AGAIN. GODDAMNIT I'VE HAD A BAD FUCKING DAY. Someone get me a fucking beer Re-fucking-gards, Sabathius
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