Bad Day Rant from 3-4-04

So the following is a post I made on 3-4-04. I was working at Hastings Entertainment at the time and posted this on Realpoor.com before the website turned to crap. Be warned there are around 50 fucks in this and a bunch of goddamns. Sabathius is the screen name I used when I posted on the message board. This is, hands down, the best rant i've ever done. My favorite part is when I started ranting on Christians. This is a severely angry rant, but I'm much better now.


Yanoe What? Sometimes I want to fucking come home and not have 45 messages on my goddamned answering machine from Bankfirst about how they can save me on a 32 billion dollar car loan and will simultaneously increase the size of my teency boycock. I would like to come in, turn on the fucking computer and find where I left off downloading porn, take a giant shit, grab a Budweiser and turn on the goddamned idiot box. I don't want fucking commercials in the middle of my Orange County Chopper and Mail Call with R. Lee Ermey. I don't wanna scroll past a new goddamned reality TV show and I don't want goddamned reruns of Friends or stupid fucking Seinfeld. Fuck Sara Jessica Parker's no sex having ass. I don't wanna hear my fat ass dyke of a neighbor and her goddamn cockroach kids fucking each other and pounding their goddamn heads into the wall trying to make themselves more retarded. I don't wanna work all day, listening to 40 year old bloated assholes vent their rage on me about a stupid video tape that doesn't contain the amount of porn they thought it would in a sad excuse to validate the heap of shit existence they currently lead. Move out of your mom's goddamn basement and stop jerking off 900 times a day (and 3 times in my goddamn book department) and maybe you'll find someone that will take an interest in this pathetic excuse you call a waste of life. I don't want to listen to whining maggot employees bitch about what a goddamn hard life they have when they stop going to class and wonder why they fucking failed. Or when they come to work crying because someone ran over their goddamn cat. It's a cat. Shut the fuck up. I'm tired of goddamn Christian people coming and renting BIBLE MAN or buying fucking Tim LaHaye books every goddamn day. I swear to God if he puts out another book next week i'm going to snap and kill everyone I fucking see. This fucking loser has nothing better to do than wax idiotic about an invisible man that lives in the sky that is about to end our world and punish everyone in it forever and ever, but loves us nonetheless. Fuck you idiot Christian slobs and your goddamned need for comfort from a goddamned book. I believe in God and I'm pretty goddamned sure that he doesn't give a RATFUCK if you watched Bibleman 450 times or that you've never said the word Shit in your goddamned pathetic life. Know what asshole? I've said fuck alot. I've had anal sex with a jewish girl during lent and without a goddamned condom. I'm pretty goddamn sure that violates about 300 Religious laws. According to your rules, god will forgive me, so i'm gonna call her up and FUCK HER AGAIN. GODDAMNIT I'VE HAD A BAD FUCKING DAY. Someone get me a fucking beer Re-fucking-gards, Sabathius

Fuck Circuit City

So I live right behind Circuit City. If you have never had the pleasure of living near a place like Circuit City, or Best Buy, lemme give an example of what to expect. Baseline. Constantly. Wallthumping stupid hip hop baseline. All the goddamn time. I get home from work and immediately lay down to take a nap. I work from 4:30 in the morning until I get done. 4:30 isn't a natural time for a human to be awake, so naturally i'm tired. So I get home to take a nap, and if i'm lucky, so stupid waste of a good fuck just got their car out from the shop in the back of Circuit City were they added 80 tons of speakers and other shit into a 83 Datsun Pickup with Inlaid Gold Flake Pinstriping on a Purple Sea of paint. Now the idiot wants to see if Aliens on Jupiter know how big his cock is by blaring his unholy crap excuse for music as loud as he can. I seriously hope his eardrums explode one day. Usually they have a music festival on Saturday so all the idiots in town can come show off their dick-mobiles. The one thing I do love, is how when I call the police, they don't bust up the party, they park 3 or 4 officers on different exit routes to ticket the morons who peel out and take off down the street at a high rate of speed. God I hate those people.

The Family Fucking Circus

Alright. My first post and it's a rant. I was talking to this annoying, mustached girl from work about comics in the San Angelo Standard times and was shocked to find out that while my favorite comic lately has been either Non-Sequitor, Dilbert, and Get Fuzzy, her favorite has always been The Family Circus. The rest are there to take up space. What's the matter with The Family Circus? First off, lemme clear the air. I'm a married father of two so I know what it's like to be a parent. I can understand that sometimes in parenting, there are hilarious moments and cute moments. None of those can be seen in TFC. Jeffy getting run over by Dolly when she accidently backs Daddy's car out of the drive-way would be funny. I'm a bit sick in the head, i'll admit. But I think it would be funny. What I don't find funny is the massive over use of kids using puns and misunderstanding the meaning of normal words. Today's was Jeffy riding a tricycle and saying, Disney made a movie about cars, when are they gonna make a movie about trikes. Please tell me what's funny about that? Sometimes I wish I could draw so I could make a family circus cartoon I'd like to see. It'd be something like Petey holding a grenade pin in his hand and his brother's playing keep away from Dolly with live hand grenade. I hate TFC so much I have to read it first. That way I don't have to worry about accidently reading it and leaving me in a bad mood for the rest of the day. I either end up on Dilbert or Get Fuzzy. Those always make me laugh. Fuckin TFC.